fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I touched a dick in church today
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