I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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