The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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