honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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