Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
