You're completely useless in the revolution.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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