there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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