i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
