I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
