btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
