I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
