Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
