Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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