By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
