My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
