I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Girls should come with a carfax report
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
