It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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