its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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