Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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