I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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