...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
