I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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