I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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