It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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