I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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