i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
