I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i think i just lost a toe
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
