I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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