i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
