There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize