I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
