it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
