I wish my penis had an off switch
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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