i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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