Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
