Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize