Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
