all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
