No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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