You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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