Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
