What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
