his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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