How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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