I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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