I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
