My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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