I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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