UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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