so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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