Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
