So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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