he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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