Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
