i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
