dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
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I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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