Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We got so high we made milksteak
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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