You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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