I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
