Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
