question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
