Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
