time to smoke my breakfast
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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